Recently, a parent shared something with me that genuinely concerned me.
A group of children at a local primary school had taken phones in, taken photos of other pupils, and shared them with others.
From what I understand, the images themselves weren’t inappropriate. And the situation was handled by the school.
But that’s only a small part of the issue.
What stood out to me was this — the children involved thought it was completely normal.
There was no real sense that this might be wrong. No awareness of boundaries, privacy, or consequences. Just a behaviour that has clearly become accepted far too early.
And that, in my opinion, is where the real problem begins.
Because once something becomes “normal” to a child before they understand it, you’re no longer guiding behaviour — you’re reacting to it.
I’ve since had conversations at home about this, making it very clear that this kind of behaviour is serious and not acceptable at any level.
A Much Bigger Issue Than One Incident
This isn’t an isolated situation.
We’re now seeing a wider conversation across the UK about whether social media should be banned for under-16s. Teachers, parents, and policymakers are increasingly concerned about what children are being exposed to, and more importantly, how early that exposure is happening.
At the same time, there are voices arguing the opposite.
That children should be allowed access because “they’ll see it eventually anyway,” and that schools should simply educate them on how to use it safely.
On the surface, that sounds reasonable.
In reality, I think it’s deeply flawed.
Children Are Not Ready for What They’re Being Given
Children are not mini-adults.
Their brains are still developing. Their ability to judge risk, interpret information, and understand consequences is nowhere near fully formed.
Yet we are handing them devices that provide unlimited access to adult-level content, ideas, and behaviours — and expecting them to navigate it responsibly.
We wouldn’t do this in any other area of life.
We don’t expose children to complex philosophical ideas about nihilism or extreme worldviews and expect them to interpret them properly. We don’t give them access to environments designed for adults and assume they’ll “figure it out.”
But with smartphones and social media, that’s exactly what’s happening.
The Algorithm Is Not Neutral
One of the most misunderstood parts of this conversation is the role of the algorithm.
People often think children are simply “using social media.”
They’re not.
They are being fed content.
The algorithm is designed to keep attention for as long as possible. It learns quickly what a user reacts to, what they pause on, what they engage with—and then it gives them more of it.
And it doesn’t take long.
In fact, here’s something I’d challenge you to try yourself.
Open Instagram or TikTok.
Start searching for and watching something completely innocent—let’s say judo. Watch a few clips. Like a couple. Maybe follow one or two accounts.
Then spend 10–15 minutes doing the same thing. Scroll, pause, engage.
You’ll notice very quickly that your feed begins to change. More judo. More martial arts. More of the same type of content.
The algorithm adapts almost immediately.
Now take a step back and think about that.
If it’s that easy to shift your feed in 10–15 minutes towards something positive and controlled…
…it is just as easy for it to shift in the opposite direction.
A child doesn’t need to go looking for something inappropriate.
They don’t need to search for it.
They don’t even need to understand what they’re seeing.
All it takes is:
- pausing on the wrong video
- clicking out of curiosity
- or following what someone else has shared
And within a very short space of time, the algorithm starts taking them somewhere completely different.
Not because they chose it.
But because the system decided it would keep them engaged.
That is a level of influence that most adults underestimate—and one that children are simply not equipped to handle.
We Are Already Seeing the Consequences
There is growing evidence linking early social media use with increased anxiety, poor sleep, low self-esteem, and behavioural issues in children. Research on social media and children’s mental health.
Teachers across the UK are reporting that behaviour in schools has worsened, and many are directly linking this to social media exposure. UK education report on screen time and children’s wellbeing.
More concerningly, there have been well-documented cases where children have engaged in dangerous online challenges, been influenced into harmful behaviour, or experienced severe bullying and social pressure through group chats and image sharing.
In more extreme cases, there have even been links between online exposure and serious harm to children, including self-harm and exploitation.
Not every child will experience this.
But the fact that it is happening at all—and at increasing levels—should be enough to make us stop and think.
Exposure Is Not Education
One of the most common arguments is that children need early exposure so they can learn how to deal with it.
But exposure is not the same as education.
In many cases, early exposure leads to imitation without understanding.
Children copy behaviour long before they can critically evaluate it.
They follow trends, repeat what they see, and seek approval—because that is how they are wired at that stage of development.
You don’t teach a child to swim by throwing them into deep water and hoping they learn.
You build their confidence, their skills, and their understanding first.
Only then do you increase the level of challenge.
This Is Ultimately About Standards
For me, this isn’t really about technology.
It’s about standards.
As parents, we set the environment our children grow up in. We decide what is introduced into their lives and when.
And I believe giving a young child unrestricted access to a smartphone and social media is not setting a high enough standard.
I understand why it happens. There is pressure. It’s become the norm. It’s often the easier option in a busy world.
But easier doesn’t mean better.
And as parents, we have to be careful not to confuse the two.
What This Has to Do With Judo
This is exactly where I believe judo has a responsibility that goes far beyond sport.
Jigoro Kano didn’t create judo just as a system of physical techniques. He created it as a method of education — a way to develop better people.
His principle of Seiryoku Zenyo (maximum efficiency) wasn’t just about how to throw someone. It was about using your energy, your decisions, and your actions in the most effective and responsible way.
And Jita Kyoei — mutual welfare and benefit — is about understanding how your behaviour affects others, and choosing to act in a way that contributes positively to those around you.
When you look at situations like the one described earlier, those principles are missing.
There is no awareness of consequence. No consideration for others. No standard guiding behaviour.
Just reaction, imitation, and a desire to fit in.
That’s why judo matters.
Because on the mat, children are not just learning techniques. They are learning how to conduct themselves. They are surrounded by role models — coaches and senior students — who set clear expectations for behaviour, respect, and discipline.
They learn that actions have consequences.
They learn that respect isn’t optional.
And most importantly, they learn that they don’t have to follow the crowd.
Because real confidence isn’t about fitting in — it’s about knowing when to stand apart.
Final Thought
My job as a parent is not to prepare a child for social media.
It is to prepare them for life.
To build character before they are exposed to environments that will test it.
Because at some point, they will encounter all of this.
That’s inevitable.
But there is a big difference between facing something when you are ready…
…and being thrown into it before you are.
We cannot control everything children will encounter.
And we will all make mistakes along the way (I’m sure I could do much better with my boys).
But we can control what we introduce into their lives—and when.
And in today’s world, that decision carries more weight than ever.
